Inner Doodles

As I sit in front of the fan trying in vain to dry the beads of humidity pooling in my pores, let me recount the events of the past week. Some are most pleasant, others, excruciating, and all kept me from the daily log. Let us begin with the Mother's Day that was, but then wasn't as it was supposed to be. The plan was to have breakfast twice.  Round One: eggs, made by Co-Captain Dad because I would inevitably sleep in and starve the crew if they were forced to wait.  I knew there was a good chance that I would miss first breakfast all together, but it was a risk I was willing to take. Sleeping in is divine.  Round Two: buttermilk pancakes from scratch with maple sausage, made by Me after I stirred from my slumber.  But this round would not come to pass on Mother's Day...  Day 56 (Mother's Day) I yawned and stretched and a cute little bouncing face appeared in my periphery.  "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom," Everything was still fuzzy a...

Anothersaturday. Chilly. Another day of oscillating the air conditioning to heat. Except we forgot to set it to heat last night. I awoke fresh and freezing. Fuzzy Blanket never felt so inviting. Chief Mate and I made a morning sandwich. He was the lettuce, I was the cheese. Fuzzy Blanket was (arguably) the meat. It's a purplish gray color. Perhaps the closest it could get to meat would be chicken liver pâté. It was too early to think of such gag-inducing foods. So we move on to other ingredients. The mattress clad in olive green became the veggie patty. Brown blanket became the bread. A scarf that keeps coming out of the closet due to the unusual frigidness of May was (obviously) the mayonnaise. Nameless lemur became the little garlic. Veggie sandwich was complete. A heavenly scent wafts up from downstairs. Eggs. And coffee. "Time to get up!" I announce. "No! We have to be a sandwich," Chief Mate combats. "The human is coming to eat the sandwich, ...

The walls are suffocating once again. Irritation wears itself on my skin, in my hair follicles, in my aching heels. Why are my heels aching? Every need of every being around me feels grating. There's not enough food in the cat bowl. There aren't enough eyes on how I eat my cereal. But this guy can do this really neat trick. Why can't you put the kind of cat food I like in the bowl? Watch how these guys spin when you put them together like this! There's a dish on the table, are you done with it? I have a meeting in 5 minutes, so I can't help you log in, do you think you can do it on your own? Yes. No. I can't log in because you're logged in, Mom. 4 minutes until my meeting. My hair is a mess. I can see the bottom of my kibble bowl and it's a disgrace. Do I care if they see me disheveled? Everyone's hair is a mess. Mom, I can't log in. 2 minutes. Of course I care. Why is my hair frizzier when I'm at home? Or is it just that I have access to a m...

A black beetle crawled out of the mound of food that collects because our dear cat can't keep it in his mouth. Moist, partially masticated food is the perfect place for such an insect. He didn't appreciate my sweeping. I named him Alexander. I watched him walk away into the void under our kitchen cabinet. Alone. Without food. The hardest part in all of this is watching loved ones suffer and not being able to help. Sick family members are unable to eat homemade soup for fear of germs that may have been folded into the broth. A friend who desperately needs human contact is unable to answer the door to receive bear hugs. There is no more driving parents to the grocery store or to their routine visits to the doctor. Prescriptions for real life-threatening diseases are running out because idiots in charge are selling them as a false miracle cure. The list of can'ts goes on and on. But my intent is not to make anyone's situation harder than it already is. So, here is a list...

I found bacon on my last excursion for provisions. This was my second chance. This time I wouldn't let my mind wander. I wouldn't burn it like last time. The crime almost got me booted out of the encampment. I separated the slabs of meat while Chief Mate sang at the top of his lungs from the top of the stairs, "Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon!!!" His toothbrush still in his mouth so the "n" didn't quite make it out of his mouth. The bacon felt strange. Every pack is slightly different. Consistency, smell, greasy residue. I squeezed five pieces across the skillet. I always put as many as the pan can handle because I despise cooking bacon. The less amount of time I have to spend stretching apart the slimy flesh, the better. These monstrosities actually grew wider and I barely could fit the last piece. It overlapped every single strip as I shoved it in horizontally across the top. Bacon is supposed to shrink, not grow. The smell filled the house and the "Bacon...