Inner Doodles

"The band of evil LEGOs are in hot pursuit! Assume your positions!" Raphael of the TMNT commands. "Take the high ground! Arm your weapons, speed meditate if you must, but then be on guard. We don't attack first, but we won't let them win," Sgt. Halo adds.  "Hey, you're not in charge," Raph comments.  Dust from the Mega Blok vehicle makes Sgt. Halo sneeze. "Quiet!" Raph snarls. "Sorry..." Sgt. Halo mumbles. "Shhh!!!" the entire team forcefully shushes, exuding spittle onto Captain Mom's glasses. Unnecessary, she thinks to herself.  ( Captain Mom whispers to First Mate: What do we do when the LEGOs get here?)  (First Mate GLARES) (CM: What?) (FM gives a PROLONGED GLARE) (CM's eyes shift from side to side) (FM: I ALREADY TOLD YOU! WE ATTACK!) (CM: Right, right, right.) "Here they come!" Sgt. Halo screams. "Arrrrrrrggggghhhhh!" yell the miscreants aboard the LEGO car. They sound a bit like G...

Anothersaturday. Chilly. Another day of oscillating the air conditioning to heat. Except we forgot to set it to heat last night. I awoke fresh and freezing. Fuzzy Blanket never felt so inviting. Chief Mate and I made a morning sandwich. He was the lettuce, I was the cheese. Fuzzy Blanket was (arguably) the meat. It's a purplish gray color. Perhaps the closest it could get to meat would be chicken liver pâté. It was too early to think of such gag-inducing foods. So we move on to other ingredients. The mattress clad in olive green became the veggie patty. Brown blanket became the bread. A scarf that keeps coming out of the closet due to the unusual frigidness of May was (obviously) the mayonnaise. Nameless lemur became the little garlic. Veggie sandwich was complete. A heavenly scent wafts up from downstairs. Eggs. And coffee. "Time to get up!" I announce. "No! We have to be a sandwich," Chief Mate combats. "The human is coming to eat the sandwich, ...